For some time now, our fields here at FWIS have lain fallow, as we've pursued pursuits that have frequently found us frolicking fulsomely outside the boundaries of our little Duchy-by-the-Don.

And, faithful readers, there hasn't been much to comment on about Doings in the Duchy, seeing that on the overall, there hasn't been much doing, other than the occasional moan emanating from the heritage deprived areas of King-by-the-Don.

And there, as Corktown Bubbles might say, is the rub. In our travels to The Other King (and Queen) west of Yonge, we've seen something that's missing from our little neck of the woods: Signs of Life. Why, One can walk down King or Queen here at any time of day or night, and see little more than the occasional wanderer. East (Riverdale) and west of us, the streets are a throbbing, tempestuous, tumultuous tumescence of activity. (continued...) »

Recent events in the Shuter and River district have confirmed that, contrary to popular opinion, there is indeed a social imbalance in the Duchy of Corktown. Initial murmurs from local residents have since, sadly, been confirmed by the local constabulary, and through further research by Ocarina Smithee, noted onomastic and cousin of the obsessively-quoted Alan.

"We've discovered a surfeit of Johns in the area," according to Dr. Smithee. "We hadn't suspected anything, but once the rumours started, we reviewed the electoral lists, and discovered we have a much higher incidence of Johns than areas such as Leaside, for example, where Jacobs and Emilys predominate."

Residents are anticipating declining property values, pestilence and a plague of locusts as a result. Though many of the offending Johns have been removed from the area by local police, it's hard to say how long it will be before the problem recurs. "Johns are, unfortunately, indigenous to ghettos," said Dr. Smithee.

"You're darn right I'm 'up' about developments in Corktown!" shrieked one of our favourite local femmes fatales, Corktown Bubbles.

Long a fixture in the area, the florid floozy has been plying her trade on street corners around the Duchy for years.  She got her start, and her name, from a legendary performance involving three Irishmen, a tub of Guiness, a trapeze and a trained catfish back in her younger days.

After reading the Toronto Star's weekend article about developments in the area, she's looking forward to better times ahead. "Streetcar Developments - who are they?" she asked, leering lasciviously. "Ride the Red Rocket with me and we'll see what develops!"

"Why I get all flustered just thinking about all the opportunities!" the happy harlot exclaimed, her ample bosom heaving with barely suppressed passion. "I hear we're going to have a better social balance, and believe me, I have a couple of social balancing acts I can show you for the right price!"

Much ado has been made of late on the castaway Corktown e-list about the need to maintain a proper social balance in the Duchy.

We're intrigued by the concept, particularly since its proponents have so far been curiously silent when asked to describe what this balance might look like in practice.

And so, faithful readers, we put the question to you - cogitate carefully, as we don't want the carefully cultivated cultural fabric of our little Duchy to be torn asunder by the wrong "types":

What would define a proper social balance in the Duchy? Age? Looks? Wealth? The ability to chew gum and walk at the same time? How much newcomers are "like us?"

Use the comment button below to add your ideas, anonymously or otherwise as you see fit!