After an extended hiatus, we've been pondering a return to literary form, though little of import has been happening in the Duchy of late.

But, what better opportunity to throw our metaphorical hat in the ring once again, than to comment on the current state of affairs (so to speak) with Toronto mayoral candidate/beleaguered TTC Chair, Adam Giambrone, who seems (so to speak) to have been getting off at more than one stop recently? (continued...) »

The One's sources inform us that an (unspecified and mysterious) " number of residents are concerned" about (20 unspecified and mysterious) "infractions" in local Streetcar Developments projects that apparently represent a threat to our heritage friendly streetscape.

We're curious which heritage-related aspects of the area under development are at risk. Perhaps the sinuous gothic curves of the Heart & Lung building? The romanesque arches of the Sony Service Centre? Or perhaps the crenellated parapets of Print One or the massive buttresses of the Big & Tall Shop? The rustic ramparts of Dixon Hall? 

Maybe we're missing something, but from where we sit, we don't see anything particularly historically memorable about the area, so we're unclear what heritage-friendly would look like in that context.

So tell us, you mysterious, unspecified folks, where you sit, by adding your comments below!

"You're darn right I'm 'up' about developments in Corktown!" shrieked one of our favourite local femmes fatales, Corktown Bubbles.

Long a fixture in the area, the florid floozy has been plying her trade on street corners around the Duchy for years.  She got her start, and her name, from a legendary performance involving three Irishmen, a tub of Guiness, a trapeze and a trained catfish back in her younger days.

After reading the Toronto Star's weekend article about developments in the area, she's looking forward to better times ahead. "Streetcar Developments - who are they?" she asked, leering lasciviously. "Ride the Red Rocket with me and we'll see what develops!"

"Why I get all flustered just thinking about all the opportunities!" the happy harlot exclaimed, her ample bosom heaving with barely suppressed passion. "I hear we're going to have a better social balance, and believe me, I have a couple of social balancing acts I can show you for the right price!"

Business was brisk at the newly opened Streetcar Developments sales pavilion this weekend. According to reports on the recently bifurcated Corktown e-list, approximately half the units offered sold within the first two days.

Large numbers of prospective Corktonians surged through its newly-opened doors, oblivious to the tumultuous tides of bodily fluids, stepping through mounds of spent syringes, and padding past shimmying slews of sultry, sinuous Corktown ladies of the night.

"We really like the area but we're wondering about those people over there,"  said one hopeful inhabitant-to-be, pointing at a small group of somewhat sullen, black-clad, clipboard-carrying locals who were staring obsessively at people's feet as they entered and exited the sleek building.

When questioned about their activities, a spokesperson for the group replied "We're here to ensure our little Duchy's population maintains a proper social balance." When asked how "a proper social balance" could be measured, another member of the group piped up excitedly, "Footwear! They need to be well-heeled! We have a checklist and rules!"

We asked to review her list, and caught a quick glimpse of one guideline before their leader snatched it out of our hands: (continued...) »