The Gates of Hell erupted in our small corner of the universe, and according to one local denizen, "We have no one but ourselves to blame for it. If those buggers on the West Don Lands committee had just consulted with us more, this never would have happened. Now we know we were right in walking away from the committee, because What You Don't Know Can't Hurt You."

The first clue something was wrong came just a week ago, when little Timmy Smithee, son of the never-endingly oft-quoted Alan Smithee, came home from the new Brownfield Playground sporting a second head and singing a duet. The tune, sung in beautiful two-part harmony, went something like this:

"There's a cloud in every lining,
Every smile hides a frown,
If you don't believe this,
You don't live in Corktown.

What's the point of research,
We just know the facts,
Don't you say we dream things up,
And don't you call us hacks.

Sometimes we do our homework,
And then we get it right,
But other times, you have to ask,
"Who turned out the light?"

For some its fun to whine and moan,
While others take a pass,
It's hard to see the road ahead, (continued...) »

Residents of this sleepy burg weren't so placid this weekend as the Cherry Street Charette erupted into chaos, with members of several camps hurling invectives, scented Mr. Sketch markers and flipchart paper at each other.

At issue is the city's proposed plan for re-purposing the gritty drag, whose only redeeming feature at present is the Canary Restaurant. City scions have a plan for the area, envisioning a broad and majestic avenue à la Spadina, sweeping down toward Lakeshore, ultimately leading to the internationally renowned Waterfront Wastelands.

Some residents, however, have a different vision - a more intimate thoroughfare, without the streetcar right of ways and other features that would widen the thoroughfare to the width of a soccer field - a change that would make it difficult for the locals to shout insults or fire guns at each other.

One city official quipped "Why do people bother going through all this? No one's going to do anything, it's all a charette."

To which a local resident replied, eyes flashing with barely suppressed rage "Don't be a fool, you pompous politico, you can't have intimacy without losing your Cherry! "

An article from a group called Novæ Res Urbis has caused quite a stir on the Corktown e-list, which was recently hurled, gasping, from the arms of the Corktown Residents and Business Association , to fend for itself on the very streets we walk.

Someone asked about "answering the misinterpretations here" and we thought we'd give it a stab, since here on The Seat, we think it's pretty much on the mark, an assertion we'll explore in more detail now... 

For those unfortunates privy to the Corktown Resident and Business Association’s listserv, which delivers a regular barrage of increasingly hostile and often curious messages, it has been painfully clear that it was headed on a collision course. Ideological differences and personal conflicts have rendered the group almost completely ineffective at lobbying for the needs of the Ward 28 community and now threaten the group’s existence.

Maybe so, but this is a situation that could have been remedied by the association taking a more active role on the listserv to communicate with the community more effectively. The listserv, with nearly 100 users, enjoys significantly higher attendance than any CRBA meeting. Nearly all Board members were either unaware of the elist or refused to use it, a situation which has changed recently and perplexingly considering the list's recent excommunication.  (continued...) »