Today Junkie's, set to open in the not-too-distant future, announced that its inaugural event will be a Communist Party.

"Given our understanding that there are a some high-profile communistas in the area, we thought it would be good to bring them all together for a a little meet and greet,' said owner's rep Alan Smithee.

The Communist Party is being billed as a private event, open only to adults, preferably couples. "Since workers of the world unite, we want to make sure they have their privacy. Of course, if you're a single communist," said Smithee, "we don't want you to feel left out - just give me a phone call. I like to think 'Commie, when you're alone you can Commie."