Word has it highly popular and recently defenestrated Fantino underling and traffic spokesperson Cam Wooley will be joining Conservative Party ranks here in Ontario. Unnamed sources told us that the recent move to a "Doom & Despair" model of policing left Wolley with no alternative but to make a move which will, interestingly, have the potential to place him in a higher position of authority than Commissioner Fantino, should he win a seat.

Meanwhile, back at OPP HQ, we hear that JF has introduced a new mission statement. No longer "Safe Communities...a secure Ontario" the new Black and White cruisers will sport the slogan "Crime Isn't Funny." And Elmer the Safety Elephant will be more gaunt, and sport a broken tusk.

We also understand police will be outfitted with newer, more serious uniforms that further reflect the OPP's move under The Commish to a more traditional policing model. We hear these uniforms will be significantly more protective than the current ones, an important characteristic as experts have indicated officers are much more likly to be hit in their new, less visible cruisers.