What with the palpable air of excitement hanging over our impending parliamentary elections like a fart in a sauna, we thought it timely to consider what this means to our little neck of the woods. A neck which currently appears to be on the chopping block much like that of a soon to be cooked chicken. Or perhaps a goose, if you're anticipating the substance - or lack thereof -  of any directors' reports we hear tonight. We're particularly interested in the current Parliament's comments around:

• the lack of public events this year 
• the lack of minutes or financial reports
• no newsletter
• the moribund website
• ...and whatever else didn't happen this year.

• Novæ Res Urbis deconstructed
• Let's Talk! What should folks who want to be CRBA directors consider?
• So you want to rule Corktown...
• Let's Talk! What do you expect from this year's Parliament of the Duchy of Corktown?
• Ruling Class 101 - Have a Vision

Along with this, we repeat, slightly edited for your viewing pleasure, several observations we made in March 2007, once the board was elected and sitting - on its hands, so it would seem - to make meetings more meaningful, and perhaps, to even get something done this year.

• Make the meetings more interesting. Generally, The One has found that the conversation usually moves in the same direction, on the same topics, every meeting,  with the same players, and the same results. Time to change that. We suggest introducing meeting themes. We're not suggesting toga parties, but the Parliament might consider one month having a community beautification theme - with speakers! Next month - community safety. Next month - policing.
• Eliminate the monthly police report. Yes, you heard us right, the One believes once every three months ought to be enough to have a police report. We're not sure exactly when we were wallowing in such a surfeit of crime this needed to take place every month - for 40 minutes. We understand the police produce a newsletter, and the CPLC is in operation, so we respectfully suggest those with a need for more frequent police encounters use those resources, or start committing crimes. While this may be interesting for the two or three people who like to attend these meetings, we've heard from a large number of others that the dynamic of these sessions is what's keeping them away. Time to accommodate the interests of the majority, board members.
• Get agendas, etc. out ahead of time. Perhaps we should say "Just get the agendas out, please." Agendas should come out ahead as well, and ideally, if our theme idea is implemented - meetings should be promoted well in advance.
• Start meetings on time. We believe 7 PM is the time, so the Parliament should be in position, have a quorum, and be ready to roll. We also wouldn't delay for people to arrive, as they'll learn chronometry quickly enough if prompted.
•  Get tough on time and keep things moving along. If the agenda lays out a schedule, stick with it. In our experience, some good questions to move things along run along the lines of:

"Time flies, and so must we. Does anyone have anything else to add? No? OK - NEXT!"
"Can you tell me what this has to do with the topic at hand? No? OK, NEXT!"
"Does anyone want to take this idea on? No? OK, it's off the table - NEXT!"
"Since this only relates to you, perhaps you could discuss it with (whoever) outside/after the meeting. NEXT!"
"We've discussed this for the last 200 consecutive meetings, with no resolution, let's drop it. NEXT"
"Outside our ability to act. NEXT"

• End on time, so that there's more time for beer, which is a hope "hanging over" from our last treatise on this important topic.
• Produce a summary of the meeting, so that those who couldn't make can be enlightened on the wondrous and improved activity of our Parliament! Do this within days of the meeting, and worry about minutes as required before the next full meeting.

Of course, this all assumes that anyone could possibly want to take on this responsibility and do a good job of it. Here's hoping things are better than last year, otherwise we think the best thing to do might be to simply close the doors and move on.