As we reflect on the past year, a little belatedly, our thoughts turn to the Duchy, and recent related discussions on the now long-relocated e-list regarding past performance and future potential for our Parliament.

While some might make biblical comparisons - perhaps Lazarus rising from the dead - those of us here in The Land of One are more inclined to draw metaphorical links with the iife of the Great Entertainer and Mom, Ms. Britney Spears, who appears to be sinking ike the Titanic, and, like a squirrel in the fall, getting nuttier by the minute. (continued...) »

Inquiring minds want to know where members of the CRBA - our reigning parliament in the Duchy - were when the newest park reno - on the island at Trintiy and Eastern - opened yesterday. Like the previous event at Percy Street, it appears they donned their Cloaks of Invisibility for this one.

Despite some fanfare and a pre-opening flyer distributed in the area, relatively few local denizens turned up for the occasion. Councillor McConnell was there, however, and we can imagine she'll occupy considerable time in the eventual broadcast of this event next year on HGTV. Good free publicity considering the reno was pad for completely by private/advertiser contributions, we understand.

Come to think of it, these same inquiring minds are wondering what's up over at the parliament, or if it still exists, given the recent exodus of Duchy parliamentarians, gradual declne of their flagship website (more like cobwebsite, we say), and recent questions about CRBA activity on the CPLC.....

Recent unconfirmed events on the now-discombobulated Corktown e-list suggest that Almighty Keva (or is it Kevi?) might have disappeared, hurled into the ether for what some see as blasphemy against the humble residents of the Duchy.

We received the photograph at right in a plain unmarked envelope this morning and while we can't directly link it to Keva's disappearance, find it hard to disregard the coincidence.

Speculation abounds as to Keva's whereabouts. One local burgher and Keva acolyte spotted him recently leaving a neighborhood butcher shop with a large package. When we raised the issue, he replied "I fear the wurst."

We're following up diligently here at FWIS central, and will keep you posted on developments as the story unfolds.

With our return from the Otherworld outside the boundaries of the Duchy to our little Slushie by the Lake, The One's thoughts turn toward the upcoming, and first, session of our newly-elected Parliament. What, thought we, might improve our community confabs while moving attendance (and membership) into the double, and - who knows - triple digits? And we're not talking fingers. Herewith we offer our suggestions:

• Make the meetings more interesting. Generally, The One has found that the conversation usually moves in the same direction, on the same topics, every meeting,  with the same players, and the same results. Time to change that. We suggest introducing meeting themes. We're not suggesting toga parties, but the Parliament might consider one month having a community beautification theme - with speakers! Next month - community safety. Next month - policing. And yes, you heard us right, the One believes once every three months ought to be enough to have a police report. We're not sure exactly when we were wallowing in such a surfeit of crime this needed to take place every month - for 40 minutes. We understand the police produce a newsletter, and the CPLC is in operation, so we respectfully suggest those with a need for more frequent police encounters use those resources, or start committing crimes.
• Get agendas, etc. out ahead of time. We note that the new Parliamentary secretary is doing a fine job of this - at least in requesting meeting discussion topics. Agendas should come out ahead as well, and ideally, if our theme idea is implemented - meetings should be promoted well in advance.
• Start meetings on time. We believe 7 PM is the time, so the Parliament should be in position, have a quorum, and be ready to roll. We also wouldn't delay for people to arrive, as they'll learn chronometry quickly enough if prompted.
•  Get tough on time and keep things moving along. If the agenda lays out a schedule, stick with it. In our experience, some good questions to move things along run along the lines of:

"Time flies, and so must we. Does anyone have anything else to add? No? OK - NEXT!"
"Can you tell me what this has to do with the topic at hand? No? OK, NEXT!"
"Does anyone want to take this idea on? No? OK, it's off the table - NEXT!"
"Since this only relates to you, perhaps you could discuss it with (whoever) outside/after the meeting. NEXT!"
"We've discussed this for the last 200 consecutive meetings, with no resolution, let's drop it. NEXT"
"Outside our ability to act. NEXT"

• End on time, so that there's more time for beer, which is a hope "hanging over" from our last treatise on this important topic.
• Produce a summary of the meeting, so that those who couldn't make can be enlightened on the wondrous and improved activity of our Parliament! Do this within days of the meeting, and worry about minutes as required before the next full meeting.

In Our Humble Opinion, we believe this will work wonders in increasing the numbers attending from the usual 9, so that the Parliament truly reflects the interests of the community.

"What do you think?"

Add your comments by clicking below, and have a great weekend!